Question 1

Celebrant or Registrar?

Accepted Answer

It's your choice based on what you want from your day. I meet many couples at fairs and open days making this choice so my simple explanation is: Registrars legalise and Celebrants personalise.

A Registrar handles the legalities.  They solemnise your marriage and sort the paperwork. Registrar's ceremonies are standardised, formal and restrictive. You rarely get to choose the person or meet your Registrar before the day. Registrars seldom offer deviation from their script or allow personal touches, they are also committed to specific time slots because they often do numerous weddings in one day.
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A Celebrant, on the other hand, creates a ceremony dedicated to you, I offer a lot more flexibility, choice and freedom. We meet, we relate, I have a genuine interest in getting to know you and care about giving you what you want for your day. You won’t be restricted by formalities (unless you want them) you can have a ceremony that is personal and totally unique. You can choose meaningful rituals, tell your story and make it your own. I often feel like I am writing ceremonies for new friends, I wrap myself in all that makes you special and you can trust that I am dedicated to giving you and your guests a truly fitting tribute to your love.
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So, if you're looking for a ceremony that feels relatable, meaningful, fills you and your guests up with all of the meaning and joy surrounding you and your partner, then you are in the right place! And you don't need to worry about the legal side of things – many couples do this before or after their big day.

Such is my passion for giving couples an informed choice, I have written a number of blogs on the subject. Depending on your priority I have broken them down into how a Celebrant can enhance your day:
1. We focus the important stuff - you!  (https://www.mellythecelebrant.com/post/series-celebrant-or-registrar-1-with-a-celebrant-it-s-all-about-you)
2. You choose YOUR Celebrant(https://www.mellythecelebrant.com/post/series-celebrant-or-registrar-2-you-can-go-celebrant-shopping)
3. A ceremony script that is all your very own  (https://www.mellythecelebrant.com/post/series-celebrant-or-registrar-3-you-get-your-very-own-unique-ceremony-from-your-celebrant)
4. You get a lot more value for money with a Celebrant  (https://www.mellythecelebrant.com/post/series-celebrant-or-registrar-4-with-a-celebrant-you-get-a-heck-of-a-lot-more-bang-for-your-buck)
5. There are no jarring intermissions in your wedding schedule (https://www.mellythecelebrant.com/post/series-celebrant-or-registrar-5-with-a-celebrant-you-stay-in-your-warm-and-happy-glow)
6. Registrars are no longer the natural ‘go-to’, trend or assumption - the times they are a changing! (https://www.mellythecelebrant.com/post/series-celebrant-or-registrar-6-marriage-landscape-is-changing-for-the-better-thanks-to-the-fan)

Question 2

What does a Celebrant do?

Accepted Answer

I capture, craft and create ceremonies that celebrate you! My role and privilege is to announce your ceremony, on the day, with warmth and heart. Ceremonies by me are memorable, uplifting and heartwarming - exactly what you deserve!

Question 3

Can you legally marry us?

Accepted Answer

No, not yet, but 'the times they are a changing'! In the UK, celebrants can’t legally marry couples. Most couples do the paperwork at a registry office separately, then have the real celebration with me – the one that reflects your love story, your way...without any of the usual, stuffy or bubble bursting restrictions.

Question 4

Where can we marry?

Accepted Answer

That's easy - anywhere! You have absolute freedom with an independent Celebrant, the choice is entirely yours. It could be in a forest glade, on a beach or beautiful riverbank, in a park, a coffee or tea shop, your favourite restaurant or pub - anywhere!!

Question 5

Do you write our vows?

Accepted Answer

If you want me to, yes. Or we could do it together, whatever makes you feel comfortable and adds more of you to your day! For many, getting married is about making promises to one another. I can support you both to get to the essence of what you value, how you show your love and share it and put all of that feeling into words that feel natural and authentic to you both.

Question 6

What if we don't want readings?

Accepted Answer

To this I say, fine, whatever you would like. We could explore why and it might be that readings you've heard before have felt stuffy or not been right, if that's it then we could try to find something that suits you and does feel right. Or you might decide to have a meaningful ritual or two or for you and your congregation to sing a song. We can bounce around ideas and be as creative as you like, ultimately though, with me, whatever you want or don't want for your ceremony you can have!

Question 7

Religion is important to us, can we include this?

Accepted Answer

Yes, no problem. Registrars and Humanist celebrant cannot include religion but an independent Celebrant (that's me) can. We can make reference to your faith throughout the ceremony, include readings, prayers or religious songs, we could also include a ritualistic element to your ceremony which honours your faith - it's up to you.

Question 8

How long does our ceremony take?

Accepted Answer

However long you like. I usually aim for 40 minutes, this isn't very long when you consider your love story, your vows, readings, any rituals you'd like to include. If you would prefer shorter or longer that is not a problem, my price remains the same, I am happy to follow your lead for what feels right on your day.

Question 9

Do we get you all day?

Accepted Answer

If you want me to stick around I am more than happy to spend the day. I have been asked before to introduce speeches, rally the troops to keep to the schedule of the day, be your MC or support with coordination of photos or festivity - I'd be happy to hear your ideas. More often I join you and your guests straight after the ceremony, partly for selfish reasons, I love to soak up all of the post-ceremony vibes, get piccys for my own memories and come down from the natural high I have from the privilege of announcing your ceremony. Then, after congratulating you both and sharing heartfelt hugs I slope off, leaving you and your loved ones to it.
I don't just sail off into the sunset though, I care about your ongoing strength and joys and all of that energy is still available to you if you want it. Anniversaries are often a time for reflection, ongoing celebration of your promises and shared values. The both of you (and I) have put a lot of thought and heart into what your marriage means to you both so I offer time with couples to refresh and revel again in your union, your achievements, perhaps your challenges, your comforts and routines. All with the aim of strengthening what make you loving, rich and happy.

Question 10

Do you do elopements?

Accepted Answer

Oh yes, I love them! It could be just us three or a small group of your tribe, wherever you want to make your promises; how gorgeous?!

Question 11

Do you do vow renewals?

Accepted Answer

Absolutely! I blooming love them! I put as much energy into a vow renewal script as I do for a wedding.

Question 12

How much do you charge?

Accepted Answer

From £600. Prices vary depending on what you want and location, for more info go here.(https://www.mellythecelebrant.com/the-process)

Question 13

Do you do rehearsals?

Accepted Answer

Yes, if you would like one. Some prefer a run through while others like to go with the flow on the day. I will be your guide through the ceremony, your places and positions for your wedding party. I'll check in with people who are involved in parts of your ceremony on the day, I've got this and if anything needs sorting I will ensure all is lined up and ready.

Question 14

How far in advance shall we book you?

Accepted Answer

As soon as possible! Popular dates get snapped up quickly. I only do one ceremony a day and take bookings on a first come, first served basis. But even if it’s short notice, reach out – you never know!

Question 15

How do we book you?

Accepted Answer

That's easy, just get in touch with me on 07712 407860. We can have a chat about what you would like, save the dates and start planning a warm, dreamy ceremony especially about the two of you and all that makes you glow!

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